“"'...So I kinda mope around all day, dropping hints, thinking everybody forgot my birthday, then just when I get home to tell everyone to go fuck themselves-- "Surprise!" And wouldn't you know, my mom has gone and arranged a surprise party. It's as lame as it's ever been on any other sitcom, but at least there's cake. Mom hands me a plate and says, 'Dig in, tubby.' So I get a piece of cake, take a”
