“Well, there was a record-breaking heat wave across the nation on this final Fourth of July weekend of the millennium. Or so they kept telling me on CNN Headline News all day today. Yeah, I was feelin' it. Here in the heart of Chicago, we felt temperatures in the high 90's as gallons of sweat gushed from our pores in a futile attempt to cool our golden-plump, freshly roasted bodies. My living room,”
